The Poems And Confessions Of A Mad Man Read online

  But something has happened, that has changed my life,

  Started when the miscarriage, nearly killed my wife.

  We had 2 of them, from her cancerous past,

  The 3rd pregnancy, I was sure it would last.

  Baby died at 6 weeks, it was caught in her tube,

  She was bleeding to death, nothing that I could do.

  I prayed all the way, to the emergency place,

  The doctors’ saw death, all over her face.

  I stayed there all night, ‘til my shift would begin,

  Called my boss and told him, why I couldn’t come in.

  He said, “Get your ass, to this job here right now,

  Or look for another, in this little town.”

  I waited for doctors, to come and to give,

  The news of her health, did she die or she live?

  She ended up living, but part of us died,

  We went to our house, where we mourned and we cried.

  Because of what happened, my daughter got mad,

  Said, “If this is His way, then I’d rather be bad.

  You’ve both given everything, serving the Lord,

  I can’t serve a God, who gives such reward.”

  She went and got real, messed up with the crowd,

  Became disrespectful, and angry and loud.

  My job then dried up, and it didn’t look good,

  Would I be laid off? Yes they said that I would.

  A suicide spirit, was coming for me,

  I know he was there, but I couldn’t see.

  I recognized him, from when I was 12,

  An age when I thought, I was living in Hell.

  I went to the shed, to think of a way,

  It could look like an accident, this tragic day.

  They’ll say I went fishing, slipped and bumped my head,

  Be found in the pond, but too late I’ll be dead.

  But while I was thinking, about this great plan,

  A voice called my name, it was the Son of Man.

  He stood as I looked, and He showed me a child,

  He said it was mine, and He stayed for a while.

  He said, “This one wouldn’t have chosen Gods Son,

  So I took him home, and one day you will run,

  With your children in Heaven, you’ll raise and you’ll play.

  I’ll take you home soon, but for now you must stay.”

  I know you may think, I was having a dream,

  Or was hit in the head, with a bat or a beam.

  I know that I saw Him, and know it was real,

  He saved me again, and this much I do feel.

  Because when I looked at, His beautiful sight,

  The demon was gone, without even a fight.

  So if you ask me, about this world now,

  I’ll say I don’t care, no way or no how.

  I tell you the truth, and say just what I feel,

  What I say will be truth, so pure, and so real.

  When you read my stories, they come from my heart,

  I will write how this world, is falling apart.

  A Soldiers Story

  By: Andrew J. Green

  We jumped out of our vehicles, with our weapons that day,

  Not knowing we’d fall into the hands, of the man with the A.K.

  He shot me in the arm, and then tried for my head,

  But little did he know, he was already dead.

  Because from the sky fell, the misguided bombs,

  That incinerated everything, within God’s palms.

  Oh the enemy was dead, but so was half my team.

  This is the war, the reporters left unseen.

  One time we heard explosions, within the camp at night,

  We thought it was the beginning, of a fire fight.

  But it was just our soldier, who had lost his mind,

  It may have been for his religion, that he committed this crime.

  We are given rules of engagement, to be followed by every man,

  The enemy fights by no rules, as we invade his land.

  We’d better do everything right, or face court-martial in the end,

  As we’re judged by every viewer, watching C.N.N.

  Today a friend of mine died, from a rocket attack,

  Blew his body apart, when he was hit in the back.

  His family will weep, when they receive the bad news,

  He will be buried at Arlington, closed casket, dress blues.

  Car bombs and snipers, kill a soldier a day,

  The people scream in our faces, for us to go away.

  The temperature hits, one hundred forty in the sun,

  We feel we’ve got it made, when it’s only one hundred and one.

  I have to go now, for the burning in my chest,

  The bullet that entered, has made such a mess.

  I wonder if I’ll die, if I might, if I could,

  I hear the medic say, this kid doesn’t look good.

  I feel my soul, begin to drift away,

  This soldier is gone, I hear the surgeon say.

  When I wrote to Mom and Dad, I said I’d be home by June,

  They probably never thought, it would be this way, or this soon.

  The Dragon

  By: Andrew J. Green

  A short time ago, a man knocked on my door,

  Didn’t know what he wanted, I knew not what for.

  Said my kid owed him money, for drugs that he sold,

  The guy couldn’t be, more than 20 years old.

  My blood started to boil, my anger enraged,

  The dragon had just, gotten out if his cage.

  Said I’d get him just what, he was looking for,

  I imagined the blood, the trouble, the gore.

  I said he should go, and wait in his car,

  Was parked in the lot, not really too far.

  I went to my room, and grabbed my Bowie knife,

  This guy didn’t know, I’d be taking his life.

  He didn’t know the man, who I could become,

  The mad angry killer, the crazy small one.

  I walked to his car, his friend came with him,

  His friend was quite big, known by all as Big Jim.

  The car was convertible, they had the top down,

  I came from the rear, and then walked around.

  I grabbed the young man, without any warning,

  Put the knife to his throat, on this summer morning.

  Asked if this was the thing, he was looking for,

  Said I’d cut up his family, and mother that whore.

  His eyes opened wide, hands started to shake,

  Like a young aspen tree, his body did quake.

  Said if I find out he’s, ever looking for her,

  I’ll heal his addiction, I will be his cure.

  He never came back, my daughter got mad,

  Could never buy drugs, it made her feel bad.

  The word had gone out, to dealers on the street,

  Her dad was a psycho, you don’t want to meet.

  We sent her to rehab, she put up a fight,

  It wasn’t too easy, she turned out alright.

  The dealer was found, in the mountains up North,

  Tortured to death, the dragon came forth.

  His family was butchered, the whole group found dead,

  The killer not caught, daughter sleeps in her bed.

  So if you’re a dealer, and you think that you’re bad,

  Beware of the dragon, inside every dad.

  The Broker

  By: Andrew J. Green

  4 in the morning, awoke by the clock,

  Already behind, tick tock, tick tock.

  Breakfast consists, of eggs and toast,

  Barely awake, as I drift like a ghost.

  Outside by 5, on the train by 6,

  Poughkeepsie to New York, a 2 hour fix.

  Subways and cabs, will take me to Wall,

  Don’t know if the market, will go up or fall.

&n
bsp; Today I will answer, for stock that I sold,

  Told a client it’s good, rock solid like gold,

  The Rip was high, so I pushed it like Coke,

  Stock fell in the toilet, now my client’s broke.

  I will use my phone, to contact another,

  Your father, your brother, your sister, your mother.

  I will tell them anything, short of “guarantee”,

  This technique will keep them, from suing me.

  I’ll get inside info, and pass it along,

  I know it’s illegal, immoral, just wrong.

  The risk may be there, but the payoff is high,

  Just think of the wonderful, things I could buy.

  Insider trading is, a plague here you see,

  Frowned on by the law, of the S.E.C.

  But I’ve been here a while, and done it a bit,

  I know I’m too smart, to take such a hit.

  Series 7 it is, a license to steal,

  You have no idea, the power I wheel.

  Stocks and bonds, pork bellies and crude,

  Sales pitch is harsh, it may even seem rude.

  I say I’ve made millions, on this year to date,

  Bull market will soon, come out of the gate.

  Buy low and sell high, this much I tell all,

  You want Futures options, a Put or a Call.

  If one is made rich, 2 more are made poor,

  All this takes place, on the trading floor.

  These people believe, that I have a glass ball,

  Get their trust and money, and then lose it all.

  To get great wealth, seems their only mission,

  If they win or they lose, I’m paid on commission.

  Just spoke to a client, told him of the fall,

  Jumped 33 stories, when getting the call.

  I feel kind of bad, it’s not the first time,

  I lost a good client, and that is a crime.

  Received an e-mail, from the legal team,

  Have troubling questions, this feels like a dream.

  They say I gave info, to a law friend,

  A government mole, this looks like the end.

  I couldn’t get caught, this seems so surreal,

  Like I met the devil, and we made a deal.

  Could go down in flames, get 10 to 12 years,

  Live a nightmare from Hell, along with the fears.

  I’ll take out the gun, from inside my drawer,

  And draw some attention, to this broker floor.

  I’ll put the gun up to, the side of my head,

  When you hear a shot, you know I’ll be dead

  I can only imagine, what papers will read,

  “A Broker Is Dead, Because Of His Greed.”

  Ending It All

  By: Andrew J. Green

  I’m sitting here with, a gun in my hand,

  Just the shell of what once, was a very good man.

  Life was rather hard, especially on that day,

  Was accused of a crime, they said I would pay.

  I’m innocent though, I didn’t do the crime,

  They said I looked guilty, and would do time.

  If convicted I’m gone, for a long while,

  I won’t go to jail, my mother I’ll dial.

  I’ll tell her goodbye, hang the phone up and then,

  Shoot myself in the head, and my life will now end.

  I hope they find out, that I was innocent,

  But they’ll think that I didn’t, have time to repent.

  They’ll say I’ll burn, for what I’ve done,

  A mortal sin made, the unforgivable one.

  I’ve prayed to the Lord, and asked Him to save,

  The soul of this man, of whom life He gave.

  I hope you’re all wrong, but if you are not,

  The fire will burn, as my flesh will rot.

  I’m afraid if you all, are possibly right,

  I’ll never feel love, or ever see light.

  I guess I’ll find out, when He judges me,

  If Heavens my home, I guess we’ll see.

  Put the gun to my head, pull the trigger and then,

  My life is now over, it’s come to an end.

  I now stand before, the beautiful King,

  The angels are here, they all start to sing.

  I look at Him now, my God that I face,

  His arms do stretch out, I feel His embrace.

  He said, “Welcome home.” Took me by the hand,

  He showed me around, this beautiful land.

  So before you judge me, and think you’re so smart,

  You should have considered, the condition of my heart.

  Hearing Them Scream

  By: Andrew J. Green

  As I work the tools, between the meat and the bone,

  I can hear them all scream, cry out and then moan.

  There will be no mercy, for what they have done,

  I’m given this power, from the governing one.

  When a court case is lost, from the policemen’s mistake,

  They give me a call, to cause pain and mutilate.

  People say there’s no justice, in America anymore,

  But I tell you the truth, today we tortured 4.

  They got out of the court, and got into our cab,

  These criminals’ whose wounds, are beginning to scab.

  We took them to where, they didn’t want to be,

  Tied them up, stripped them down, and carved them you see.

  Justice is served now, the system won’t buckle,

  As I cut them apart, work the knife through the muscle.

  You will never hear of, the things we have done,

  You’ll only remember, the court case they’ve won.

  This is just how it is, the way it has got to be,

  To keep them from hurting, people like you and me.

  So I hope you feel safe, knowing they’re not out there,

  To hurt you again, it just wouldn’t be fair.

  A group just came in, I wish you could see,

  This one who is loud, he wants his attorney.

  I laugh as I tell him, his lawyer’s my boss,

  Made sure he went free, made sure the state lost.

  To all of the crooks, that I can’t wait to meet,

  I’ll cut you apart, like a lamb you will bleat.

  You’ll be fed to the pigs, at an out if state farm,

  Only after I hurt you, and cause you such harm.

  I promise you’ll beg me, to kill you very soon,

  I’ll take my time with you, your body I’ll groom.

  The potato peeler I’ll use, to take off your skin,

  Soon you’ll be in shock, your body will give in.

  We’ll nurse you back here, and then start it again,

  You’ll think you’re in Hell, inside of Satan’s den.

  So criminals beware, if police made a mistake,

  And you walk away, another crime free to make.

  I’ll be waiting right here, to make sure that you cry,

  When I’m through having fun, be sure you will die.

  I have to go now, to hurt and be mean,

  To a rapist who’s here, I must make him scream.

  Self Image

  By: Andrew J. Green

  She came to our group, like a withered old angel,

  Her mind was destroyed, was broken and mangled.

  She was only 18, when she told me her story,

  At 6 feet, 80 pounds, she had lost all her glory

  These are all her feelings, I wrote them all down,

  Before she had died, and was put in the ground.

  Said, “When looking in the mirror, wondered what they all see,

  Do they truthfully love, or bitterly hate me?

  Am I pleasant to look at, or disgusting to view?

  I ask myself this, but now I’m asking you.

  Will you tell me the truth, or what I want to hear?

  When you’re with other friends, will
you confirm my worst fear?

  Do you notice my weight, and all of my fat?

  I look like a blimp, do you talk about that?

  Doc says I’m too skinny, and need to gain weight,

  If I don’t I could die, may already be too late.

  He says I have lost, ability to have a kid,

  Because of starvation, and damage it did.

  My butt and my breasts, have long since been gone,

  Anorexia, Bulimia, he says that it’s wrong.

  But I think I’ll feel good, if I lose 16 more,

  And get my weight down, to around 64.

  I think that’s enough, I think I’d look great,

  It’s been 20 days, since the last time I ate.

  I use to throw up, anything I consumed,

  Didn’t want to blow up, like a giant balloon.

  I’d rather I died, then look to my dad,

  Like the fat little girl, that he once said he had.”

  She died in the morning, her heart just gave out,

  I’m sure some girls know, what she had talked about.

  She lies in the morgue, like a withered old angel,

  Her dad ruined her heart, it was broken and mangled.

  Drink And Drive

  By: Andrew J. Green

  Do you notice the marks, and the scars on my face?

  The things that the doctors, could never erase.

  The accident took, all of my self esteem,

  I can still see the car, and hear everyone scream.

  Hear the Jaws Of Life, that were used by the men,

  We were caged in the car, like some pigs in a pen.

  Said we would have been fine, if we had our belts on,

  But we just weren’t thinking, me, Donny and John.

  I was drinking a lot, before driving the car,

  Didn’t think this would happen, or could go this far.

  As I looked to the right, I could see someone’s feet,

  John was launched through the windshield, from in the back seat.

  One thing they were sure, that they knew for a fact,

  He was killed right away, he was dead on impact.

  They said he was cut, from his head to his toe,

  You would never believe, how much of his blood flowed.

  And then there was Don, who looked at me and said,

  “We screwed up big time.” Later on he was dead.

  His autopsy showed, his lungs filled up with blood,

  Internal injuries caused, his torso to flood.