The Poems And Confessions Of A Mad Man Page 15
Mad loves it when the foolish people attack him. They think they will stop him because the vessel he occupies is small, but he hurts them like a wolverine hurts the grizzly. There is no winning against the dragon. Only a greater being can conquer the beast within me and I have to ask Him for help. I want the dragon with me in case I’m attacked or I need to help a victim from being hurt by robbers. Then, is when I want the dragon to come forth. He will come out and kill the robbers and stab them to death with their own weapons. He is a master with weapons and has taught armies to use them. The robber has no training and is child’s play for the dragon.
When he kills the robbers, he flees the scene and is never caught. The victim of the robbers would never tell who their savior was because of honor or the fear that the dragon will come after them for betraying him. The dragon needs to be killed. That may be the only way to stop him. If the host is killed, then the dragon will die. Many bullies and robbers carry the scars and permanent disfigurement from the dragon. That is the trademark of the dragon. He only hurts and never walks away from the trouble. He looks for opportunity to react and to conquer. When I tell him, “No!” and try to resist him, he cuts my wrist with a knife and then threatens to cut me again if I don’t do as he says. I submit to him and he drives me on.
I need a savior to save me from what’s inside of me. The dragon now possesses me and I am fading away. I can only hear the echoes of what once was a man. Now the beast that I hate is consuming my mind. I can’t fight him off. He is too strong for me. I need a savior. I need help. I need to die and come back again without the dragon’s power over me. I need. I need. I need. Jesus save me. I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I’m so tired.
Mad
By: Andrew J. Green
A relative named Harley called me today and asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him the gift I want this Christmas wouldn’t cost him very much because it wasn’t worth much, but that it would be the greatest gift he could ever give me. He said, “If that’s the case then name it.” I asked, “Are you sure?” He said, “Tell me!” So I said, “The greatest gift you could give me would be, if you took a gun and blew your head off after killing your 3 teenage, shit head, children.” Needless to say, he was in shock, as you probably are if you’re reading this. He knew I was a little off my rocker when he met me, but he now knows that he has gone too far.
He’s always bitching about his father and how his dad left the family so many years ago and all of this shit. I once told him that his dad committed the unforgivable sin against me. When he asked what his dad ever did to me, I told him that his dad should have rolled over and shot Harley against the wall and never knocker up his mother with him. I know what it’s like to carry a grudge against my father forever, but I don’t care about his problems so I won’t tolerate someone like me, to be around me. I don’t even like being around myself sometimes.
We tried to show this guy and his rotten kids the love of Christ and we did a great job at it. But the things he would say and allow to happen, made me mad. He would invite us to a get together and we would always ask who was going to be there. He would say that just a few people were coming. We would ask if Slash was coming. Slash was one of these pieces of shit biker guys, who was 35 years old and would sell drugs to little girls. He would get them hooked, and end up having sex with these 13 and 14 year old girls, giving them his incurable herpes. This piece of shit destroyed the lives of a lot of young girls and then would come to Harleys parties and brag about it. These are how all of Harley’s friends were, garbage, just like him. He would promise us that Slash wouldn’t be there. I use to overlook Harley’s wickedness, but he earned my feelings for him.
Harley would lure us to the parties by saying stuff like, “Do you think you’re to good for me and my friends because you’re Christians and we’re not?” Or, “You should come and hang out with the sinners, like Jesus did.” I now know how Eve felt when she was tempted in the Garden of Eden. Anyway, my wife, who has a good heart and didn’t want to hurt his feelings, would accept the invitation and we would go. Slash would show up and make remarks to my wife and Harley wouldn’t say anything to him. One time I got mad. When I get mad, I ruin the atmosphere of any party, and I make sure of it. You can say just about anything you want to me and I’ll laugh in your face, because I’m worth more than you. But if you say what he said to my wife, I don’t laugh. I get mad and the person sleeping inside of me awakens.
Slash said that he’d like to take her into the bedroom and show her something that he’d like to give her. When he said that, I became ugly and forgot I was a Christian. I told him he shouldn’t have said that. He asked me what I thought I was going to do about it. I told him exactly what I was going to do. I said that I was going to get up out of this chair, and I was going to rip his right eye out of his head. Then, when he immediately went into shock, I was going to pull him to the ground, put him on his stomach, place my knee at the base of his spine, grab him by the hair, and pull until I broke his back. I was then going to take out my knife, and cut off the skin of his eyebrows, his cheeks, his nose, and I was going to scalp him. After that I would cut out his tongue so he would never say something like that to any woman again. I figured it was for a good cause. I assured him I would leave him with one eye, so he could see every human’s reaction to the way he looked, no matter where he went for the rest of his life. I told him that there isn’t going to be anyone that would help him. I then yelled to a crowd of Harley’s friends, who were in shock, that if anyone tried to help him, then that was their way of saying to me, that they wanted the same fate.
When Harley heard me yell this, he ran outside and told Slash to run for his life because I had the mind and the fighting ability to do this. Slash jumped through a cactus bush and escaped my wrath. Harley knew he’d better not tell me to leave because I was in a trance and he was afraid I would think he was Slash, and take out my fantasy on him. I was well aware of him and my surroundings. I was pissed at him because he told Slash to run and I didn’t get to make him pay. I felt I had to do something, or these maggots would thing they can talk to my wife like that and get away with it.
I then started to blame Harley for my actions because he lied to us and said all of this trash wasn’t going to be here. He made me become like this. I believed this was his fault. These big biker pussies all took off real quick, like a bunch of scarred rabbits. These big tough gang members all ran away from little old me. They wear all of this paraphernalia representing Death, like skulls and cross bones and all of that crap, but when Death looked them square in the face, they all run. So much for their biker name, “Deaths Posse.” The only thing that bothers me about this whole thing is that I know I could waste these people and send their souls to Hell and enjoy it all. In the end, I did do something to Harley. I hated him. I hated the fact that he was breathing air and wished every day that he’d get killed or his kids would be kidnapped and cut to pieces while the killer videoed it. I wanted him to get the video and watch as the killer cut Harleys rotten, disrespectful, Christian mocking, children apart. I wanted him to feel that kind of pain because he deserved it.
Every time before this, he and his big biker, loser friends would throw cheap shots at me and my wife, thinking I was someone they could push around. They awoke what was lying asleep within me since I became a Christian. This is their fault. They awoke the sleeping dragon. What kind of husband would I be if I didn’t hunt down Slash in a bar and followed him outside? What kind of husband would I be if I didn’t knock him out and then carry out what I said I would do? I’m not going to say that I cut Slash into a bunch of pieces after taking his body to an old hunting spot up North. I’m not going to say that I spread his 2 inch chunks in the forest where I knew the coyotes and mountain lions would devour his remains. I’m not going to say that I broke his bones into tiny pieces with an axe and then bathed in a stream, washing his blood off of me. I’m not going to say that I changed my clothes and burned the bloody ones with ga
soline. I’m not going to say that I took a Polaroid picture of it all. I’m not going to say any of that because I would never hurt anyone. The dragon hurts everyone, and they kicked the dragon and woke it up. Don’t wake up the dragon whose name is “Mad.”
Harley didn’t end up getting me anything for Christmas. As a matter of fact, he’s never wanted to associate with me again. I wonder if he thinks he and his friends are too good for us. Maybe he should come and hang out with us, like Jesus does. I wonder if anybody knows where Slash is?
Christmas Jitters
By: Andrew J. Green
6 years ago our niece Amber, was placed in our home when her parents were killed in a car accident. We took her in and treated her like she was our own daughter. She had started to rebel and quickly decayed as time went on. A few years ago, Amber had rebelled against everything she had ever been taught and became involved with drugs. Before long, she was a drug addict. We did everything possible to help her, but she kept on running away and using Speed and other drugs. Speed became her drug of choice and she couldn’t live without it. We heard from my son’s friends’ that she was a real mess and would end up dead if she wasn’t helped soon.
One day, the body of a girl matching her exact description was found dead in the desert not far from where we lived. My wife panicked and felt we needed to go to the morgue to see if we needed to identify the body. To make a long story short, it wasn’t Amber, so we contacted the police department again and said we were losing our minds and didn’t know where she was. She was only 17 years old, and we were still legally responsible for whatever she did. We just needed to know if she was alright.
We received a call from the police department’s runaway detective, who confirmed with us that she had been on the runaway list for over 2 months. He said that, given this amount of time she has been gone, he would handle the case himself and assured us, he would have her in custody within the week. He wasn’t lying. The very next night she was picked up and brought to Juvenile Hall. We were notified about this and were told we could come and pick her up.
We had been down this road before. Not long before this, she was picked up as a runaway but when we came to get her, she said she was going to runaway again. She said she didn’t want to live in a home with Christian people, and in a place where there were rules she had to live by. We told her, no matter where she went in life, there would be rules. She insisted that if she came home with us, then she was going to run as soon as she got out of the car. We asked where she wanted to live and she said, “Anywhere but with you.”
A relative named Julie had heard of what was going on, and she said she would take in Amber. She assured us it was a safe, drug free environment, with positive influences, and that she would be well taken care of. We were grateful and Amber agreed because she thought Julie was cool. Our minds were finally at ease, knowing she was now safe, or so we thought.
On a warm summer night at around 3 a.m., our phone rang and when we answered it, it was the police on the other end. According to them, Julie had her apartment raided by the police, and in it was a Crystal Methamphetamine laboratory. I didn’t realize that when she said it was a drug free home, that she meant, all of the drugs you want are free. The police said that it was an apartment that had a reputation for dealing drugs. We never suspected any of this because Julie’s uncle said that she was staying off of the drugs. I’m told she had a problem with drugs when she was younger, but had long since straightened out her life. The police also told us that during the drug bust, guns were involved.
Amber could have been killed during this whole thing and Julie would have been responsible for everything. Amber was released to us and just ran away the next day. She was picked up by the police and we are back where I started, in Juvenile Hall. My wife told the police at Juvenile Hall, to call an ambulance and have her delivered to a rehab hospital. They did this and Amber went through the program. When she finished, she was drug free and hasn’t touched drugs since. She has become a productive part of society and is now a mother of two. After the drug raid, Julie ratted on a bunch of other drug dealers in the city, so she didn’t have to do any serious prison time. When everything was over, she went into hiding and we haven’t seen her, nor do we ever want to see her again.
Well, every year the family Christmas dinner is held at our house because our house is the only one big enough to accommodate everyone. We heard that Julie had invited herself and planned on coming without clearing it with us first. My wife and I have no problem with her coming if she first apologizes to us for betraying our trust and for lying to us. We believe in forgiving others who are sincere because that’s the Christian way. Forgiveness comes when you ask for it, and not if you don’t.
Some of the family members, who would be coming on Christmas have said that if Julie isn’t allowed to come, then they won’t come. I really don’t care because those people are trash to me. I am ashamed to say that I even know them. It’s funny because, them saying they won’t come to my house for Christmas, is like a peasant saying he won’t go to the kings party. The king doesn’t want the filthy peasants to come to his party anyway. He would much rather have them shoveling horse manure, where they belong.
I asked some of the family members if we would still be expected to have Julie over if Amber had been killed during the drug raid. Would Julie still have the family support and would everyone still boycott our Christmas party because she wouldn’t be allowed to attend? Maybe she should take a chance with their children’s lives and maybe I’ll get lucky, and their rotten children will get killed this time. Then we’ll have the Christmas party at our house and let Julie come. We’ll see if they wrap their arms around her and say they forgive her even though she has never asked to be forgiven. We will then, lift our drinks in remembrance of the children that were left in her care, but were killed because of her actions. I wonder how that would go over?
Why is it acceptable if Julie hurts us, but if another family member is hurt by her, then the world should hate her? Are my wife and I worth less than any other family member? Aren’t we at least supposed to get an apology from her for what she has put us through? I already hate the fact that these losers are going to be in my house. My Christmas is already ruined and it’s not even here yet. I wish these maggots would just go away and I’d be notified when they are all dead. Then I would come to their funeral and we would have a great party because that walking fecal matter is gone. This Christmas, my gift to them is the truth about how I really feel about those who’ve vexed me. Merry Christmas everybody! I hope you enjoyed my gift.
Ben Assassinated
By: Andrew J. Green
Once upon a time there was a man named Ben. Ben moved from the Northeast coast to the southwest part of the U.S to forget what his life once was. But there was one thing Ben could never escape and that was, who he is. No matter where he went, he would always be there. His ability to take a life without blinking an eye or being caught, was considered a gift to a few people he did work for. They called him when there was a problem that their governing bodies couldn’t get enough evidence to put someone they wanted, in prison. His phone would ring and he would meet at a rest stop on the highway. Ben would be given his orders and a plane ticket and he would be gone.
Ben wanted so much to get out of that lifestyle, but they would always find him and ask him to do this, just one more time. They paid him $10,000. to do the job and promised him that the investigations would go nowhere. Ben wanted a new life but this was the one thing he was great at and the pay was so good, that he only had to do 4 or 5 jobs a year to live a comfortable lifestyle. His family back East knows he has a good job as a carpenter, but he has too much money for the average worker.
Ben was trained many years ago by the government as an assassin and they never wanted him to get too far out of the loop. They never wanted him to tell his story and even if he did, it would sound so unbelievable that no one would consider it the truth. Everyone in this country knows that
people like Ben exist, but no one would believe that they could live next door to a government assassin. People like Ben don’t live next to you, they live somewhere else. They live by someone else. Well, what would you say if I told you that you may have known Ben and that he went to your church or was your kid’s Little League coach? You wouldn’t believe me and that’s ok, because you aren’t supposed to know about people like Ben.
The Bens’ of this country don’t live in a place that’s far away, in a community with other assassins’. They live near you. Ben is a nice guy who probably wouldn’t hurt anyone that didn’t have it coming to them. Ben loves his brothers and sisters and his children. He is a great father and grandfather and loves to fish, hunt, hike and do what most Americans like to do. He just has a different kind of job than you have. Never be afraid of the Bens’ in this great land unless you’re a criminal who has a good lawyer. Eventually, the people in the system will get fed up with the legal loopholes you keep using, and they will call up Ben and he will make you go away.
He will make it look like an accident or like a random killing, but rest assured, if you’re a bad person he will get your number. You see, Americans are tired of the injustice that is in this country, but would never want to know that the government has a lot of Bens’ just waiting for a call. When Ben strikes, the American people just say, “Well, it’s about time someone killed that criminal.”
The killing goes down as unsolved, and Ben goes home. No problem. So the next time you think there is no justice in America anymore, just know there is a man named Ben who is paid to bring justice to this country when the courts can’t.